How I came to Write, Why I feel Pain

"I was in a bad place when I wrote: (WHY DO I FEEL PAIN ??)

I've been hurting for weeks from the pain in my body the won't go away.
Worried about how I was going to make ends meet with taking time off work to get well with my health. Then Trying to help my daughter, but feeling like no matter what I did it was never right or good enough to please her.
Then angry at her and everyone else because I've been feeling so used, and dumped when I needed everyone to help me.
Because I hurt everytime I tryed to do any type of work, which in return made me really sad and depressed. Making me feel like like was not a good place anymore, and I felt like I was all alone and no one cared about me unless I had something to give them, was feeling really used and not very wanted by anyone.
In return I have become very depressed and didn't know how to make this sadness go away, so I went to see my doctor to get something help me thru this depression, and started seeing a counslor. That was a very bad day when I wrote this for me, I had just started taking the med.
And it made me very out of it, and rummy to where I was sick and just wanted to sleep feel better. Then as I was dealing with my feeling around my daughter and money problems, something else happened that day to make me feel like life just hurt to bad to breath.
I recieved a couple of e-mails, from the man I was suppose to marry a year ago, telling me in a round about way... The women he met last year after we broke up, even tho he has still been seeing me and talking with me since he's been with her. Infact he was just in my bed a few months back, was getting married next moth to this women. As they were expecting in Jan. of next year, telling me all he had left was his memories of us now.
This has really hurt me bad, as I still was very in love with man even tho I knew he was with someone else. I thought he would come back to me if I just waited, because we had been together for over 4-years and were to of been married at that time in a few months. But because of my fears I broke it off with him, instead of trying to talk out things with him, I expected him know what I wanted him to do to prove my love.
And I lost him to someone his family set him up...And it hurt me, and still does.
I guess I don't understand why I can't let go of him in my mind and heart...The pain is so hard, I feel like I'm dying.
So in my pain ...Yes I wrote this, to help me express to myself what I was doing wrong and what I need to do to fix me.
I was fighting with the pain of my body hurting and the pain in my heart from loosing my one true love, fighting with my feelings about my job, and fighting with my daughter & my soon to be daughter in-law.
I was falling apart quickly and not even my own child could see be-on herself to hold me up and hold me to feell I was needed and loved.
I was falling apart and crying out in pain and know one care or even saw I was in need, and that hurt me some much.
I never understood depression, I don't think anyone does...till you walk in the dark shadows alone.
So I yelled said things I shouldn't of, to people I cared about, than came in and sat down and wrote this, on what I was feeling.
As you will read below in my blog titled:"

Why do I feel Pain ??

"As anger, disappointment, and frustration wander into my mind. Only to finally understand, to my realization that looking to any fearful thought or feeling for a sense of self, is like asking a ghost to show me the way out of a haunted house.

Which brings me face to face with the most difficult question of all...

Why does pain and saddness, always find me..

I ask myself, as if I had no blame to how things turned around in my own life, to cause me this saddness.
But then I tell myself, in one of my self talks I find I need to hear.
If I don't think about my thoughts and feelings, if I don't find a direction from them, then how and from where will I know to take my next step in my life ?I need to learn to let go of the past pains, and sad things that happen. Even if it was a second ago, because it's making me feel sad andworthless.
So I tell myself I need to let GO..
I say within my own thoughts, in order to repair my mentally pain, so that something new can happen for me.
This, I tell myself..
Can only happen for me, when I learn to finally let go of my lost hopes and dreams, I've been hanging on to for so long.
I need to accept it's not there anymore, what I thought I should have or wanted.
That I will no longer be able to go back in time to try and win it back, because something or someone changed that, and I'm no longer a part of that path, it has broke away to start a new path without me.
This new action cannot be un-done by me or anyone else, I'm to late and it's no ones fault.
I need to really take my own insight and look at who is really making me sad, sick, tired of always being angry and tense..
ME, no one else, I am the only one who control what hurts me or makes me happy...Me.
I need to learn and allow my inner thoughts, to prepare me for what I need to see about myself.
In order to set a path to freedom from all frustrations I allow to enter my mind and life..
To begin with.. I need to suck in all the tears, and whatever else I find me doing, at whatever the personal cost is
I need to tell myself I REFUSE !!... to be self-pitying to me, anymore.Then I need to start over, right from the beginning. What-ever that may be, or wherever that may take me.
There is no power on earth that can stop you, if you believe in yourself with this intention and act to make you a better person.Next, instead of falling into despair and sorry for myself over my losses.
I need to deeply look inside my head and heart, to find what it is inside of me, that makes me feel I am not worth very much today.
Or whatever else my thoughts are saying to me, then get busy to learn to stop what I am doing to myself.When I feel hatred towards anyone, or anything. I destroy the one who hates, me.
I need to learn to let go of my resentments, and see all I'm doing is burning myself up with wasted anger that could be put to better purposes, for me.One of the biggest problems I have is getting connected to the behavior of others, which really has nothing to do with them at all, but about me.
I tend to look in the wrong places for love, and people I feel should be in my life.
Then when people betray me, the great pain I experience don't have so much to do with their actions. As it does with what the blow of what they did to my hopes for real love, finally.
The pain of my disappointment, grief, and so on...
Is mostly that of realizing, I have once again been looking for something permanent in the temporary, lane of life.Going through un-happy times, and discoveries will lead me to certain things. That does not mean I have to give up, on love.
But must learn to let what life is trying to teach me, do just that.
Not wanting the lesson won't make it go away. All that really happens is the pain of it will grows worse, and worse, until I really blow up. One day and walk away from the situation.
Only to find out I've really changed nothing, because all along the problem was in my head waiting for me to stop and begin understanding.
The hardest thing for me to do in any time of trouble is, to ask someone to tell me.... The TRUTH, to show me what I need to really see.
But I need to do it anyway, to grow into better person for myself and others!
Because, I do have friends and family who care about me, even if at this time I feel I don't, and they do need me in their life's as I do them. So I do need to change my thinking."

Sexually Satisfied?

"I recently heard about a couple in their eighties who were in counseling for sexual issues. It's a true story!!

He was complaining that his wife wasn't giving him the type of sex he enjoyed.

Sex is such an important part of a relationship between couples. It is something that needs to be kept exciting and satisfying for both partners.

Without sex and having fun in bed, your relationship becomes mundane and business-like.

Sex is the only unique feature of couples designed to bring pleasure and intimacy for a lifetime.

An older women from the northeast. Who was in her sixties and complained that her mate had erectile dysfunction and wasn't meeting her sexual needs. When she confronted him about the problem and asked him to get medical treatment that would have easily cured the problem, his response was, I'm O.K., I'm happy just like we are.... She was devastated.

Obviously her mate was an insensitive and selfish man. I guess he thought his feelings were the only ones that were important.

I like what Dr. Phil says regarding sex. He says, If you don't think sex is important, just ask the person who isn't getting any or not happy and has to use something (pill-form or tools to enjoy sexual pleasure).

The typical scenario of sexual frustration is that of a man who wants more sex than his mate wants to give him.

Women need to understand that their male mates normally need more sex than they do!!

Just as they want their mate to meet their needs in a sacrificial and sensitive manner, they need to do the same for their man in the area of sex.

Generally speaking, men have the need for sex and women have the gift of sex. They need to give that gift generously !!

It's essential if you want to have a good and lasting relationship with this person you are sexual with and want to be with for more then, a few weeks or months.

Because if you don't have this base between the two of you then...

Sooner or later one of you will leave or cheat on the other, this is bad for both sides if one mate wish's they had someone that made them feel alive sexually.

If this is the case with you and your partner, then it's better to break it off...Now!!

Why drag it out in hopes.. Maybe things will get better if you just wait around a bit longer, in hopes your mate will figure out your not happy.

Or if your in a new relationship under six months or so, and things still aren't getting your motor purring in this area without a pill or tool or you fake it pretending you enjoy their company, then they (your partner) probley don't know and think everything is fine between the two of you.

News flash!!

This is as good as it will ever get between the you of two...Sorry!

Why or how come you ask?

Because in the beginning of a new relationship your sexual fires are the hottest, it's all new with this partner. You both should be having sparks running thru your bodies with just a kiss or thoughts of your partner just being close with you.

If you don't have this...Then it's time to be honest with yourself and your partner, before it's to late and you both end up being in a loveless relationship and bitter.

Because it you, don't have that sexually fire with this person and you have not had a problem with you past partners in the sexual dept. And have been to your doctor (if this is the case then it's no ones fault) but it you M.D. says it's in your head not a medical problem...

So bottom line...If you're truely not happy and avoid sex with your mate and they are the ones always asking, wake-up your missing out on one of life's great pleasures...Life is to short to be sexually un-happy for both of you !!

Men & women do experience a decrease in their level of testosterone as they grow older. This is the main reason for a decreased sex drive.

As a women grows older and lose the fear of pregnancy or if a women is trying to get pregant, she grow more comfortable expressing their sexuality, they often desire more sex, which is good for their mates.

Just as a young man wants his partner to be energetic and enthusiastic regarding his sexual needs, the same holds true as a couple ages.

This is what makes a good relationship when both partners care enough about each other to sacrificially serve each other and meet each others needs.

If this is not the case for you or your mate, and one of you is pretending to enjoying sexual moments with each other. Or if one of you has to (fakes it) or has have to use other means to do the act of making love to hide your real feelings from your partner, then you need to start asking yourself this question don't put it off!

Is your partner sexually satisfied?

Are you sexually satified?

Do you/both of you feel comfortable sharing with each other your needs and desires?

Are both of you willing to meet each others needs even if you don't understand them or share them and be honest about it with each out leaving nothing out on how you both feel and do what ever it takes to make your love-life have spark?

Are you or your partner willing to change if necessary and follow thru even if you don't like doing what they ask of you?

Are you both willing to be honest with yourself and each other?

If you have tryed one or all of the above or you can't be honest with your partner for one reason or another one, you don't see you two working out much longer. Then be honest with your partner or each other is the best way to go for both of you in the end.

Let go move on......

This is the only way both of you will ever be happy, give each other the gift of honesty don't put it off it will only hurt more if you put it off.

Both of you should be allowed to be able to find someone that makes each of you feel good sexually.

One of you is holding on in fear of hurting the other?

Your hurting them and yourself more by having this lie between the two of you, when we hide a problem like this it just makes more problems then everything only get worse.

Your robbing your partner & yourself of the chance to find someone that does make each of you happy, who has the same sexual pleasure connetion with them/you.

We need to honestly with our selfs and our partners, evaluate our attitudes toward sex -past/present/the rest of our live's .

The eighty-something year old couple, I spoke about in the beginning of this....Reminds us, this issue is going to be around for a while.

It's either going to bring us together or keep us apart. And ultimately it will either fulfill us or frustrate us.

Take this issue seriously and work to make sure sex is as important in your life as it should be."

Sexual positions

" - Positions on Missionary -

It’s criminal to outlaw great sex, but several states still have long forgotten laws on the books that do just that. Alabama, Arizona, Florida, Idaho, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Mississippi, Georgia, North and South Carolina, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Utah, Virginia and Washington, D.C., consider giving or receiving oral sex a crime.

If you live in Georgia and are convicted of oral sex, you could be sentenced from one to 20 years in prison -- that’s pretty harsh.

Several states also make it illegal to have sex in any position other than missionary.

Well guess I'm going to HELL ..!!"

"Friends With Benefits - Sex"

"- Sleeping With Friends: The Damage it will Do -

There is a curious sub-set of friendship that seems to have become popular of late. It's called friends with benefits. It means, - you're just my buddy, and I'm not really interested in you romantically (or frankly, even attracted to you), but on those occasions when we get really sloshed, or we both end up alone (but together) on a Saturday night, we can boink our brains out and not be weirded out in the morning.


I'm sorry, but I just think it's a cheap cop-out. And what's more, it demeans the friendship, not to mention potential romance. It's like having an escort service you don't have to tip.


And here's a point of view that's going to piss some folks off: I think shagging with any old friend or acquaintance just for the heck of it kind of goes against nature. Here's why:


From an ...Anthropological..Standpoint, our species evolved around long gestation of offspring, and helplessness at birth - (according to Bill Bryson) in..A Short History of Nearly Everything, when our prehistoric precursors developed a pelvis sturdy enough to allow them to walk upright, it also resulted in a comparatively small birth canal, which meant to fit through it, babies would have to be born with small brains and little ability to be self-sufficient. As a result, infants required long-term care, which implies solid male-female bonding. After all, someone has to be getting the food if someone else is staying back at the cave with the kid.



So what does this mean? It means whatever your religious or cultural beliefs, our species was designed to pair up , make babies and stick together to raise them. Messing around for sport serves no particular anthropological need. Although it is fun.


But it's not what we're wired for, really. Deep in our bones, when we have sex, it means something. In our most ancient, primeval memory, it's part of bonding and procreation. It's what we are meant to do.


So as a result, I think there are two things wrong with - friends with benefits:


1. It's really, really hard to stop yourself from having feelings of belonging or (possession) about people you've slept with (more than once). Even the coldest Don Juan is going to feel some sort of privileges or power over a woman he's been with multiple times. And I think for women, it's even more so. We find it even more difficult to detach our hearts from our southern hemispheres.


A one-night stand is one thing. When the planets are properly (or improperly) aligned, stuff happens. Things seem like a great idea. A couple of cocktails with a shot of moonlight and a slow-dance chaser, and the next thing you know, your underpants are inside - OUT!!



But if you keep dipping into the same well again and again, you're bound to feel some ownership or sense of belonging. It can't help but change the friendship. It will either develop into something more (whether you want it or not) or one of you will feel hurt or strange when the other embarks on a -REAL ...Romantic relationship. The chances of two people being able to balance a perfect equilibrium of neutrality are slim indeed. If you both insist it's truly a friendship -- with extras -- I have a sneaking suspicion someone (or two?) is either feeling a lot more, or a lot less, than willing to admit.


2. Relegating intimate sexual contact to just -- benefits -- cheapens and degrades a most wondrous form of expression. If it's --JUST - SEX -- with one person, how do you flip the switch and turn it into something more with another?

And why turn your great friend into a convenience?

Don't you value the friendship more than that?

Or the person?

You say you care about each other as friends, but obviously not enough to make a real commitment -- or worse yet, be seen together in public as a couple. But when you're stuck together watching some lousy rerun on Showtime, you'll go at it like rabbits. What a deal. You don't have to pay for a date, worry about calling the next day or even dressing up.

I know it's not a perfect world, but in a perfect world, sexual intimacy is an expression of love and caring between two people, and just one part of a deep, respectful relationship. I also know that very often it isn't the case. But the closer you get to that goal (on a consistent basis), the happier you will be. On the banquet table of life, trying to make sex just one a la carte selection with a friend or passing acquaintance may seem appetizing, but it won't quell your hunger long term.


In my opinion, casual sex with friends is the doughnut of romance. You may think it's tasty now, but you'll pay for it later...

Myself, I have always said once you have sex with someone no matter who they are. It changes, how you and, that person feels about each other..Least in my mind your no longer friends...Sexual bonding reguires a feeling to do this act!! (least for me) -- You've moved to the next step with them....Lovers!! "

Bringing in the New Year

" Well everyone I hope you made you list of all the things you are going to do different in 2007 !!

Myself don't really see the big deal in wishing in the new year...

If you think about it...Most people end up BROKE !! Because they spent to much money they didn't have trying to impress others with a party or gift they couldn't afford.

Or they drink to much and do something stupid like have sex with someone they would never even talked to before this night, because they didn't want to be alone on this one special night...

What so special it's like any other night, just everyone makes a big deal out of it because we're starting a new year in hopes that the next year will be better than the last one...Here's wishing...Throw your money my way I could give you the same odds..

Yes maybe I am a bit more bitter this year, but I'm sick of watching others from the side lines all the time.

Waiting for Mr. Right to pop up in front of me!!

Or win the Lottery, or maybe if I am good to others someone from above will bless me with a better life than what he gave me!!

We you know what its all a fairy dream that helps us to make it thru...To keep hoping some thing better is just around the corner.

WELL...It's NOT!!

We are given life and nobody says it will be good or bad, that is just the luck of the cards if you have a good day...Enjoy!!

So I say Happy New year to all you people who are looking for a better life than what you have...Be happy with all you got now and anything else won't feel so bad...

As for waiting around for that big ole ball to drop in New York at midnight...Well

Not my thing this year...Will be in bed my the time the news hits the TV, so I can work on making my life better than it was yesterday and last year..

My goal this year??

To finally spring clean my house the way I want it to be, and get my kids to finally support themselves and move out on their own!!

And if I have any money left for me after this...Maybe take a trip and meet a lot of sexy nice rich old men...lol

Sorry just dreaming again...

Good night..

Christmas What It Really Means

" I want to wish you a very Merry Christmas, hope you have a wonderful holiday with your family and friends. At this special time, I want to remind you of the gift of God's grace.
Jesus came as a gift of grace into the world. The basic meaning of grace is the unmerited favor of God. I've heard some people describe grace with this acronym:

G - God's

R - Riches

A - At

C - Christ's

E - Expense

Mercy means we don't get what we deserve.

Grace means we get what we don't deserve.

Jesus came to reestablish the intimate relationship with God that Adam and Eve had in the Garden of Eden that sin broke.

Not only did Jesus come to mend the relationship, He came to break the curse of sin and bring back every blessing that was lost.

Those blessings include health, financial blessing, intimacy with God and each other, spiritual authority, eternal salvation, freedom from the bondage of sin, etc. We don't deserve any of these things, but because of the life, death and resurrection of Jesus they have been made available for us.

Not because of our righteousness or anything we've done, but because of the righteousness of Jesus and His death on the cross, we have been made rich in Him. Our sins are forgiven in Him and all we need is available by grace through our faith in the finished work of Jesus.

Why do we celebrate Christmas?

It's because Jesus is the best thing that ever happened to us!!

He came as God's best gift to the human race and He has made available God's best for us all by grace.

If we had to deserve it it wouldn't be worth celebrating because none of us can merit God's blessings not even the best of us.

We celebrate the birth of Christ because we have a Savior. Not some distance, impersonal Savior who can't understand us. Jesus is a personal Savior who lived like us and was tempted in every way we are, yet without sin. Therefore He is a merciful and understanding Savior.

Maybe you're facing a significant personal problem right now.

Maybe you're discouraged or even depressed because of a setback you've experienced.

Maybe it's a physical problem or even a financial problem.

Maybe it's a family issue or even all of the above.

Let me remind you about the gift of God's grace.

We don't have to work our way to heaven to get it.

No, God came down to earth to give it to us in Jesus.

He wasn't born in a palace or a special place apart from the common man.

He was born in a barn. His first cradle was an animal feeding trough.

He understands and meets us where we are now.

God's grace is available for you to forgive your sins...even the worst sins.

His grace gives you a new life to restore your health, your family, your finances, and your relationship with God so you can go to Him with all of your needs.

Grace makes every blessing of heaven available for us freely by faith in the grace of Jesus.

Pray and believe God for His best for your life. Don't give up on Him or take your eyes off of Him.

He loves you and believes in you.

He will never leave you or forsake you.

As you celebrate Christmas, don't forget about grace.

It's what makes Christianity different than every other religion...and Jesus better than any other savior.

Think about something... If Jesus hadn't ever been born their wouldn't even be a christmas!!

This day is to HONOR....him.

As you see for yourself......CHRIST-MAS........ his name is the word.

So just a reminder....It don't matter what others say or think, as long as you believe in him and remember him on this day.

Merry Christmas & May God Bless You."

A bit of Christmas thought for all year

" Found this while surfing the web and wanted to share it with you hope you like it, if so pass it on to someone else you feel it may help or make feel good, may all you trouble leave you as we start a NEW YEAR...Read Below>>>



For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life." John 3:16


The key to every successful relationship is the giving of ourselves. This is especially true in covenant relationships such as our relationship with God and with our spouse. John 3:16

Describes how God demonstrated His love toward us by giving of His Son sacrificially. He did all of this to restore and establish a relationship with us.

I sat with a man once whose wife had left him. This man was extremely wealthy. He and his wife had everything—and I mean everything! He was deeply grieving over the fact that his wife had moved out and was talking about divorcing him.
As I talked with him about what he needed to do, he kept mentioning in the conversation the things he intended to buy for her if she would come back to him. Over and over I kept stressing to him that it wasn't the lack of things that caused his wife to leave it was the lack of him.

He was a driven, workaholic man who was away from home constantly and distracted when he was at home. I had already spoken with his wife before I talked with him. She told me she was fed up with taking second place to everything else in his life. He, on the other hand, couldn't understand why she was unhappy. As he said to me, "I have given her everything any woman could every want." Everything, that is, except himself...(think about this could this be you?)


Just a few days ago I consoled another man whose children had accused him of never being there for them. He literally wept as he talked to me about it. According to him, he had always worked hard to be at home and he regularly attended his children's sporting events and other activities.

As I talked to him, it was obvious that he was a very caring father. It was also obvious that he confused his physical presence with his emotional investment. You see, it doesn't matter how present you are if you're closed off and emotionally stoic. Undemonstrated love is the same as no love at all. Even though we may say to ourselves.

"If they only knew how much I love them..." they are saying, "Why don't they ever tell me they love me."

I'm thankful that God didn't send gifts on the first Christmas. I'm glad He sent Jesus. Even today, God is totally committed to the relationship with us and sacrificially gives of Himself. Of course, God also blesses us in physical, material and monetary ways. These things are really important. However, God doesn't give in that manner as a replacement for His personal investment to us, He does it as an extension of His relationship with us and love for us.


At this time of the year when commercialism runs rampant, we must understand that our love or happiness can't be bought or sold with material things. The essence of our lives is found in relationships and they thrive on personal investment. Even though we give presents to each other at this time of the year let's remind ourselves that these aren't replacements for us they are representations of us.


Bonding or Friendships are the deepest human relationship on earth and it mirrors our relationship with God. (Ephesians 5) As God demonstrated His love by giving of Himself we must do the same.

Have you invested of yourself in your spouse, family or friends lately?

Have you become lazy or taken them for granted?

Do you try to use things too much to show your love?

Do you outwardly demonstrate the love you feel inwardly?

Be like God. Show your love by giving of yourself, the greatest gift of all that you can give anyone your care and love for them.

MAY THE LORD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU SAFE......MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR !!

Wisdoms Of Life

" You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again. A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.

She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ...Tell me what you see...Carrots, eggs, and coffee, she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg. Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, What does it mean, mother? Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water. Which are you? she asked her daughter.

When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you those who have touched your life in one way or another, to those who make you smile when you really need it, to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, to those whose friendship you appreciate, to those who are so meaningful in your life.

It's easier to build a child than repair an adult....This is so true.....May we all be COFFEE. "

CHRISTMAS - The Financial Strain - Is This You

"As Christmas draws near, it is actually one of the most dangerous times for many people more so than any other time of the year. Even though Christmas should draw us together around the reality of Jesus Christ and His presence in the world and our lives, it often doesn't. The reality for many of us is that Christmas produces a financial tension that overshadows the happiness of the holidays and creates long-term problems that last well into the new year.

I believe from what I have seen in my life and in alot of my friends also, financial pressure is one of the most dangerous forces people face. The beginning of almost all financial problems is when we are tempted to spend beyond our means.

Today, credit card companies, department stores and merchants of all kinds are making it easier than ever for us to buy what we want. Without discipline and forethought, we can easily get ourselves overcommitted and then face bills we can't pay. This always creates tremendous tension on you and how you view your own every day life.

This fact should sober all of us up to the dangers of overspending. As you enter into the holiday season, I hope you are able to purchase some special gifts for those people you care about. It's okay to do this every year, as we all enjoy giving and receiving gifts. But we all need to have certain rules that keep the holidays enjoyable and keep us from financial problems.

First rule is:... Christmas is about Jesus. Make sure that Christmas isn't just associated with getting something but is focused on the birth, and who he was and why he was born. Christmas is really the celebration of gift giving to each other as a extension of our worship of his birth to remember him, it's like when give some one a gift at their birthday any other time of the year, but at this time it's about the (Birth of a child in memory of him).

Another rule:...Don't !! compromise yourselves financially. It's okay to have arrangements with certain relatives, or friends where you all understand that you aren't going to be buying for each other or if you do, each of you will be giving each other only $$ money free-token gifts example: (Adopt a family together, clear a debt they owed you, free babysitting, house-cleaning, yard-work, nice get-together with each other or just a simple card are all great gifts from the heart. You don't have to feel cheap just feel good about what your doing for others,
I believe the thought is what counts most—not the amount that was spent.

Lets talk about just everyday life for a second, over the years that having too much debt robs the joy of anything you have ownd or have purchased right! It's like buying a house you can't afford, long after the excitement of buying it has worn off the pressure of making the payments lingers. That pressure can be overwhelming and negatively affects everything else in life.

WARNING STOP!!..Before you charge up your credit cards or sign up for some of those (no-payments, no-interest deals), think about the future implications of what you are doing to yourself for the next many months, can you really afford the extra payments ??

Can you really afford these payments without putting stress on your personal life and budget? Do you really need to get these things now? Is Jesus at the center of your Christmas or have you gotten swept up in the commercialization of the season or guilt ?

I don't want to sound like a Scrooge. I love buying gifts for people I care about even those I don't at this time of year!! I enjoy receiving gifts at Christmas, just as much as the next person. I'm sure you also enjoy Christmas in this way as me. But ..I'm just encouraging all of us to keep Jesus first and be careful about debt and overspending, long after the gift giving is over I promise you others will remember you for the good things you did for them MORE. Then some gift that you over-paid for (out of guilt)that sits in the back of their closet forgotton.

I'll leave you with this thought:.. A few Christmases ago I watched someone give a very nice gift to one of their children. They were thrilled the parents had their video camera rolling as the child opened it. They were obviously more excited than the child. He ended up ignoring the toy and played with the box for hours. Expensive box ...Huh! "

Bingo habit blamed for grandma’s drug running

"SIERRA VISTA, Ariz. - A grandmother found with a trunkful of marijuana was convicted of drug running in what prosecutors said was an attempt to earn cash for a bingo habit.
State troopers found 10 bundles of pot totaling 214 pounds hidden in Leticia Villareal Garcia’s car trunk last year when they stopped her outside Bisbee, in far southeastern Arizona.
Villareal, 61, told jurors before they convicted her Thursday that her only regular income was a $275 monthly welfare check, but she frequently played bingo and occasionally won thousands of dollars.

Prosecutor Doyle Johnstun said the game was Villareal’s undoing.
‘She’s got a bingo problem’“People who play bingo almost every night of the week end up losing in the long run,” Johnstun told jurors. “The underlying issue is that she’s got a bingo problem, which explains why an otherwise nice person might get sucked into something like this.”
Jurors rejected Villareal’s argument that she’d been tricked into carrying the drugs.
Villareal faces three to 12 years in state prison when she is sentenced Dec. 18."

Group scraps attempt to smoke biggest joint - Yahoo! News

Group scraps attempt to smoke biggest joint - Yahoo! News: A plan to roll and smoke the world's largest joint was cancelled at short notice in Amsterdam when the organizers realized they could be breaking the law.

We have now read the small print and realize there could be problems, Thijs Verheij, one of the organizers, was quoted as saying by ANP news agency after consulting Dutch drugs laws.
The group had wanted to roll a five-foot-long pure-weed joint, stuffed with more than a pound of marijuana and containing no tobacco, and smoke it in a bar.
It had initially thought the attempt would be legal if 100 people each brought along the five grams of the drug tolerated by Dutch authorities for personal use.
Unfortunately it looks like this will not be possible, Verheij said. The attempt had been planned for Wednesday.
A police spokesman said: We would definitely have investigated this. If you make a single joint with half a kilo of cannabis in it, it would cross the line.
Verheij said the group had hoped to beat a record set with a joint containing 100 grams of marijuana. "

Orgasm for Peace

"SAN FRANCISCO - Two peace activists have planned a massive anti-war demonstration for the first day of winter. But they don't want you marching in the streets. They'd much rather you just stay home.
The Global Orgasm for Peace was conceived by Donna Sheehan, 76, and Paul Reffell, 55, whose immodest goal is for everyone in the world to have an orgasm Dec. 22 while focusing on world peace.
The orgasm gives out an incredible feeling of peace during it and after it, Reffell said Sunday. Your mind is like a blank. It's like a meditative state. And mass meditations have been shown to make a change
The couple are no strangers to sex and social activism. Sheehan, no relation to anti-war activist Cindy Sheehan, brought together nearly 50 women in 2002 who stripped naked and spelled out the word Peace.
The stunt spawned a mini-movement called Baring Witness that led to similar unclothed demonstrations worldwide.
The couple have studied evolutionary psychology and believe that war is mainly an outgrowth of men trying to impress potential mates, a case of my missile is bigger than your missile, as Reffell put it.
By promoting what they hope to be a synchronized global orgasm, they hope to get people to channel their sexual energy into something more positive.
The couple said interest appears strong, with 26,000 hits a day to their Web site,
The dream is to have everyone in the world (take part), Reffell said. And if that means laying down your gun for a few minutes, then hey, all the better."

Dating Are Happy Or Selfish

"In this season of giving thanks, let’s face it: Few people want to date someone who’s bitter or unappreciative. Yet some of us unintentionally display those unattractive tendencies. Could you be one of them? Take this quiz to find out if you’re grateful or grudging.

Running into an ex has you thinking:

1: Is sex with an ex all that wrong? (Score = -1)
2: I resent my ex’s new life. (Score = 1)
3: That relationship didn’t last, and my new one probably won’t, either. (Score = 2)
4: My ex still has it, but my current date ain’t all that bad, either. (Score = 3)
5: I’m thankful to be seeing such a cool person now. (Score = 4)

Your date plans a big night out. Your response:

1:Point out all the things you’d rather be doing. (Score = -1)
2: Compare it to all the other “special evenings” you’ve been on and find it falls short. (Score = 1)
3: Don’t get too excited. (Score = 2)
4:Hope it’ll be fun, but worry that you’ll be disappointed. (Score = 3)
5:Appreciate the time and effort your date put into planning this. (Score = 4)

Which album title best describes your views on romance?

1: Michael Bublé’s Caught in the Act (Score = -1)
2: James Blunt’s Back to Bedlam (Score = 1)
3: Dianne Reeves’ Good Night, And Good Luck (Score = 2)
4: Jamie Foxx’s Unpredictable (Score = 3)
5: Keith Urban’s Golden Road (Score = 4)

Your date brings chicken soup and other items when you’re sick.
You:

1: Cough without covering your mouth. (Score = -1)
2: Figure that’s the least your date could do. (Score = 1)
3: Wish s/he’d go so you could get back to sleep. (Score = 2)
4:Wonder what this gesture means. (Score = 3)
5: Think how lucky you are to have someone looking after you. (Score = 4)

Your date needs a favor. What TV show title most closely matches your actions?

1: Lost—You’re nowhere to be found. (Score = -1)
2: Mission: Impossible—You don’t choose to accept it. (Score = 1)
3: Unsolved Mysteries—What will s/he expect me to do next? (Score = 2)
4: CSI—You’re on the case. (Score = 3)
5: The Amazing Race—You’ll go to the ends of the earth for your date. (Score = 4)

SCORING:

Less than 0:

Sorry, but you’re hateful. Why are you even seeing this person? (Tip) :First thing in the morning when you wake up, remind yourself of all the good in your life, do this every morning and it will eventually become second nature and will extend in various subtle ways into your concept of who you are and what you have in life. This should help you treat others in your life better, too.

0-5:

You’re pretty ungrateful and jaded, aren’t you? (Tip:) Build gratitude by giving of yourself. Tutor a child from an impoverished neighborhood, or work at a soup kitchen on a regular basis. You will learn immense amounts from the experience. What you do not have is real, but it sits side by side with what you do have in your life. And most likely, that is substantial. Let this realization infuse your dating life with a new perspective, too: That you are luckier than you may realize and should project a more positive attitude.

6-10:

Can you say ambivalent? You could go either way, but you never do.Tip: A friend of mine has a sign on her refrigerator that says -Next !! Bless Your Stress: It Means You’re Still Alive! If you are still hung up on the past and don’t really put your all into your dates, To really move on, put a similar -Next !! sign on your refrigerator door, your office, and your bedroom mirror to inspire yourself. Move forward: Sitting still won’t help you find that person for whom you’re searching.

11-15:

Gratitude is present in your life, but there’s room for a little more.Tip: If you’ve started seeing someone, remind yourself daily of why you fell for that person. Focus on your date’s strengths to keep your positive attitude growing. And if you are just out there looking, remind yourself that finding love is an adventure—and that you’re grateful for the opportunity to look for your special someone.

16-20:

You’re grateful for all the great things in your life—including your date. And that gratitude is very sexy.

Coffee Talk said: Okay bloggers I got an (18) when I toke this test!! So leave me a comment and tell me what you got!!"

It's My Birthday

" So Happy Birthday to me"

Men reveal: Why I cheated

"Sometimes, when the going gets tough, the tough get it on with someone else. But what really makes men stray? A nagging girlfriend? Bad sex? An escape from loneliness? Yes, yes and yes. Hear why these men slipped away from their girlfriends and landed in someone else’s bed. Then ... Whether you’re a guy or a girl .... Use the info below to sidestep this kind of situation in your love life, this was wrote talking to several men all over the United States over a 2-year study:

Reason #1: (For payback).... I once cheated on my girlfriend after I saw on her cell phone that she had been text-messaging with her ex. They were pretty harmless messages, but it angered me that she had been communicating with him in the first place. I’d always thought they were a little too chummy. That night, I was out with friends and had a lot to drink. I got so worked up about those messages that I pretty much made it my mission to find another girl and hook up with her, which I did. I think it was a payback thing. We eventually broke up, but not because of that incident. I never told her, but more so because we just weren’t right for each other. I know it wasn’t the best way to handle my anger, but at the time, it sure did feel good.

Reason #2: (The physical attraction just isn’t there)...Ever since I can remember, I have always been attracted to women with large chests. My ex-girlfriend was great in a lot of ways, but she was completely flat-chested, which did absolutely nothing to make me sexually attracted to her. I tried to look past it, but it was hard. About two months into our relationship, I was out with a bunch of friends at a sports bar, and our incredibly hot and ample-chested waitress was really hitting on me. She gave me her number and asked me if I wanted me to meet her after her shift was over. I agreed, and ended up sleeping with her. It was just a one night thing, but it helped me realize I needed to end things with my girlfriend, because I had to be with someone I was madly attracted to.

Reason #3: (She just isn’t there)... I cheated on my ex at a time when she was traveling so much that I never saw her. It was almost as if I didn’t have a girlfriend. I got so lonely, especially on the weekend nights, and I missed that companionship, both physically and emotionally. When she was gone, I began seeing someone else while I was still technically seeing my ex. I ended up telling my ex and she broke it off with me. In the end, I think things ended for the better, even though the steps I took to make it happen weren’t very honorable. I now make sure that whoever I choose to date doesn’t have a job that requires big-time traveling.

Reason #4: (He thinks he’s missing out)..I had dated Melanie all through college ever since we met at orientation. After we graduated, I moved to New York and she moved to Chicago, but we decided we’d stay together. I spent nearly every weekend traveling to see her, but during the week, I’d go out with my friends in New York and have a blast. After a few months of that drill, I knew staying true to her would be tough; going out in the city made me realize how many smart, beautiful women are out there, and never having been with anyone other than Melanie made me feel like I was missing out on a lot of fun. One night I hooked up with another girl, which finally made me realize I had to end things with Melanie. I told her what happened, and, as it turned out, she had done the same thing a few times. While we were both hurt, we realized we needed to take some time off. We stayed friends, and still are today, even though we’re married to different people.

Reason #5: (He’s moved on emotionally).....I met my ex in a Weight Watchers meeting, of all places. When we started dating, we were both about 50 pounds overweight. As the months went by, I took the program really seriously and quickly dropped weight. She didn’t adhere to the program, and her weight didn’t come off. After I lost the weight, I felt this new sense of confidence, women who had never spoken to me before began approaching me, and it felt great. My ex, on the other hand, was depressed about being heavy, and was always jealous of other women. One weekend when she was out of town, I met this gorgeous woman at my gym and we slept together. I never told my ex, but I did end up breaking up with her a few weeks after that incident. I’ve realized since then that I need to be with women who are on the same page as me about the things in my life that are important.

Reason #6: (There’s too much fighting)....My ex and I used to live together, and we fought all the time. The constant tension made me miserable. In contrast to my ex, there was a girl at work who was easygoing, friendly and fun. One night we were both working late and ended up getting a drink together after we left. One thing led to another, and I ended up staying over at her place. As bad as this may sound, after that happened, I felt free. It was as if I finally had the courage to just end it with my ex already. When I came home the next morning, my ex went crazy, but for the first time, it didn’t bother me, because I knew what I was going to do. I told her exactly what had happened and that I’d be moving out that week, and I did. I began seeing the girl from work, and we’ve been together for about four months now.

Reason #7: (He needs a shot of self-esteem)...I’m really shy, and have never felt very comfortable approaching women. I once had a girlfriend who was just as shy as me. Our relationship was fine, nothing too exciting, but I was resigned to the fact that it was my best option. I went to a conference for business, and during one of the dinners, a really attractive, sexy woman at my table began hitting on me like mad. I was so shocked; nothing like that had ever happened to me before. It made my self-confidence skyrocket, and I felt on top of the world. She and I were together that night and a few other times during the conference. I never told my ex about what had happened, but I did end things with her a few months later. After the conference the other woman and I never saw each other again, but the experience gave me the confidence that I could go out and approach interesting, exciting women...I just needed that push.

Reason #8: (To fulfill a fantasy)...I once cheated on my girlfriend of six months when a girl I had been pining over for quite some time came on to me. She had been with someone else for a long time, so I knew she was off-limits. I have to admit, I’d still probably do it again; it was like my fantasy finally came true. I broke up with my girlfriend and dated this girl for a while, but we didn’t last. Sometimes, the fantasy is better than the reality!

So ladies this is a few things we should be look for, when dating or looking to date a man. So as we don't get hurt or hurt another women. I could be wrong but I feel you should never date a man if he's seeing someone else, if he wants to date you let him know you don't play the other women, because I feel and my grandmother always said. And she was a wise women...If he is willing to cheat to be with you, then soon he will stray on you too!..Old saying Once a cheater always a cheater people don't change that fast. Unless your really special and he wants to be with you bad enough to change, and then over time this could happen."

US Constitution Missing - Last Seen In Nebraska Courtroom

" This was sent to me by my son-in-law he found it on the net while surfing, thought I would share, so read on.

I am profoundly disturbed by the entire concept of asset forfeiture laws. As far as I'm concerned, asset forfeiture violates the letter and spirit of the fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh and eighth amendments to the US Constitution. How these laws have survived scrutiny by the US Supreme Court is something I will never understand. You can read all about asset forfeiture laws at the Mackinac Center for Public Policy.

I will just state what happened to Emiliano Gonzolez, flew to Chicago with $124,700 in cash, to purchase a delivery truck for his produce business. Unfortunately, the truck was sold to someone else before he arrived. When it was pointed out to him that flying with that much cash was a bad idea, he decided to drive home in a rental car.

While driving through Nebraska, Gonzolez was pulled over for speeding. The police found the money in a cooler sitting on the rear floorboard. The state troopers called for a K-9 unit and had a drug sniffer dog go over the car. The dog immediately began barking at the money.

Quick Fact:80% of all United States currency is coated with a very small amount of cocaine. This is not an urben legend Really!! It has been proven in countless tests. If a drug sniffer dog fails to smell cocaine on 1,200 $100 bills packed into a cooler, take that dog to the vet; something is wrong.

Using the barking dog as (evidence), the Nebraska State Police declared that Gonzolez was a drug trafficker and seized the money. They did not, however, charge him with anything (as far as I can tell). They also have failed to produce a single shred of evidence linking Gonzolez to any drug-related crime.

Another Quick Fact:Under asset forfeiture laws, law enforcement agencies do not need to prove that you have committed a crime, before taking your property. You have to prove, in court, that your property was not used or obtained in connection with a crime.

Gonzolez, along with his business associates, contested the seizure of their money. Amazingly, they won the case. I say (amazingly) because it is highly unusual for a property owner to challenge an asset forfeiture successfully. The police appealed the verdict and it went to the US 8th Circuit Court of Appeals.

Unfortunately, the appeals court reversed the verdict by coming to an astounding conclusion. According to the US 8th Circuit Court of Appeals, simply driving around with a large amount of cash in the car is evidence of drug trafficking and the cash is subject to police confiscation. No other evidence is required. Apparently, that is how it works in this country.

That makes you want to wave the flag and bake an apple pie, doesn't it? God bless Amerika."

Postman Disciplined For Explaining How To Opt Out

"UK resident Roger Annies has been hauled out on the carpet to explain himself to his employer, the Royal Mail. Annies went before a disciplinary hearing last Friday and will learn what fate Royal Mail has in mind for him, sometime later this week. What horrible thing did Annies do? He is a Royal Mail postman who printed up leaflets to explain to residents how to opt out of receiving unaddressed junk mail. His employer was not amused.
This has caused a sensation in Wales, with the public rallying behind Annies. Many people were under the mistaken impression that a sign reading "no junk mail" (or similar) attached to their mail box obliged the postman to skip leaving them junk mail. Many consider what Annies did to be a valuable public service.
I am not sure what instructions were on the Annies flyers. I have been told that UK residents can opt out of receiving most junk mail by registering their address with the Mailing Preference Service. Americans can accomplish the same thing by following the instructions at JunkBusters"

How you can gain control of your mailbox

"JUNKBUSTERS Junk Mail Headlines

1: Tell the Direct Marketing Association you don't want unsolicited mail from their member companies. They now require you to pay a dollar for this, either by credit card online or by check or money order in the mail. The draft letter produced on our web site gives you an option to complain about the fee; the one on the DMA's web site for their Mail Preference Service (MPS) doesn't. We also have a page of opt-out letters to companies that sell your address and other personal information to junk mailers.

2: When dealing with a company or charity that knows your address, tell them Don't rent or share my name.
Read our extensive guide on how mailers get your name, how they decide what to mail you, and how to stop them pestering you. Note that filling out warranty cards puts you in fast lane of the junk information superhighway.

3: If you are really annoyed with solicitations mailed to you by any company, you can issue a prohibitory order against them. If they continue to send you their junk, they risk being prosecuted as criminals.
If you want source documents describing your legal rights, start with our collection of the laws, rules and regulations governing direct mail.

4: You may also be interested in visiting other sites concerning junk mail. "

Cougars On The Prowl - Older Women Seeking Relationships With Younger Men

"Coo, coo ca-choo, Mrs. Robinson. Look what you started.Older women pairing up with younger men is becoming mainstream, barely raising eyebrows as older women find themselves attracted to men sometimes young enough to be their sons. All those baby boomer girls who watched Anne Bancroft seduce Dustin Hoffman in the 1967 film The Graduate are middle-age and trying out May-December relationships for themselves Younger guys are more fun,.. said Mary Walsh, 59, a single woman a nurse.

A 2003 AARP survey on sexuality among single Americans ages 40 to 69 found that 35 percent of women want to date younger men, and 34 percent are. Three percent of women date men 15 or more years younger, 5 percent date men 10 to 14 years younger, and 11 percent date men 5 to 9 years younger.

There's a manual for such women. Valerie Gibson, author and sex/relationships columnist titled her guide for older women dating younger men (Cougar). Once a derogatory term for the stereotypical older woman trying too hard to look sexy and available to younger men, cougar no longer implies an unsavory predator, Gibson said:

A cougar is a animal: sleek, powerful and in control. It's an important trend, it's a significant trend, said Duffy Spencer, a social psychologist on Long Island, N.Y., and host of the radio talk show Just Relationships. It makes male-female relationships topsy-turvy. It turns everything on end. In the past, women tended to hook up with men their age or older.

This is moderating, said Pepper Schwartz, a professor in the sociology department at the University of Washington in Seattle. Women are are staying sexual into old age. They may have careers or not, this don't seem to matter to the younger men that want to be with them. They (older women) bring something to the relationship, Schwartz said.

Their antennas are out, said psychotherapist Marjorie Schulte said. Women are feeling like, Hey, I look great and I can be with this young pup who turns me on, Schulte said.

A Cougar is no pussycat Gibson considers herself a pioneering cougar. In her late 50s or early 60s (she declines to give her age), Gibson said being a cougar is an attitude, not a number. Not all older women dating younger men are cougars, she said. It doesn't really count if you are in your late 20s or 30s because it's experience and wisdom that makes a cougar a cougar, she said. Over-45 (women) have strength and lots of lust for pleasure and sex. If you're 50-plus and had children your children should be grown by now, and you want to find fun for you now. Commitment also distinguishes cougars, they are interested in permanent relationships. They want to have fun and good-sex with a good-looking younger guy on their own terms, or just play the field with many young studs, because they are older now they don't care about rules just pleasure to enjoy now for them Gibson said. It's what men have done for years.

Susan Swartz, a relationship columnist for the Santa Rosa Press Democrat in northern California and author of (The Juicy Tomatoes Guide to Ripe Living After 50) said age isn't the bugaboo it used to be. We have choices. And we think we should have as many choices as men, she said. And as baby boomer women enter their 50s and 60s, no one is going to tell them what to do. This generation of women are not going to say, You don't get to do that, said Swartz, 61, they're going to keep pushing (the boundaries) to have as much fun as they want, and with who they want as long as he is of legal age.

Older Women who are comfortable dating or even marrying a younger male partner feel more attractive and self-confident and sexy with them. Many describe themselves as not looking their age. Psychologist Spencer cites a survey showing that alot of men prefer older women to plain-Jane younger ones. Together. Of the younger guys Dagen has dated, age has never been a concern. No one's had a problem with it, she said. She enjoys teaching the men a few tricks in the bedroom.

Sex with a younger man, John C. Lincoln nurse Walsh said, is enticing. In addition to bedroom vigor, he brings to the relationship vitality, zest for life, (an) energy level. Older men, she said, can't keep up with her. Sex is no longer just about producing children,

Spencer said. Older women can choose partners just for fun, if they want now. We've moved from procreational sex to recreational sex, she said. It's a myth that men and women peak sexually at different ages, psychotherapist

Schulte said. It has been thought that a woman matures physically later than a man and is more compatible with a partner her junior. Eroticism and turn-ons have a lot more to do with pheromones, trust-level with each other than age, Schulte said. Age is just one of the determining factors. Physically, the genders mature at the same rate. Women lag behind culturally.

Said Spencer, It takes a woman to a certain age for all her sexual inhibitions to be unlearned. It's that more relaxed, reality-based attitude that younger men find refreshing and seductive.

Cougar author Gibson said. You know what you want, and you know how to get it, she said. Older women are more honest and more open, and more willing to stay true to her mate, and if it's not rockets and roses today, that's OK. It will be, because she knows how to turn him around to her way in bed and most younger men are more then willing to return the pleasure too.

Sexual attraction Steve Taniguchi, 42, said it was older women's sexual experience that initially attracted him in his early 20s and 30s. For younger men, it (dating older women) is like a rite of passage. There's more experience and more freedom, but as you (men) get older it's not so much that anymore, said Taniguchi age 42, who has been in a relationship for five years with Colleen Hayes, a 58-year-old grandmother.When there is a wide age gap in a relationship, it can be difficult for couples to enjoy being together,

Schwartz said, but that can work to a woman's advantage. Although her gender might traditionally be a disadvantage, her age and experience balance it out, if not tip the scales in her favor. Younger men see her as a partner.

Said Gibson, whose last husband was 14 years her junior. Older-Male peers often don't see women as equals. Older men find wanting women their age who want to have lots of sex emasculating. . . . A younger man, he'll applaud an older woman's her hunger for the bedroom. He'll celebrate them times she wants to share them with him.

It's their very lust for life, that makes older women attractive to younger men, says James Basel, editor in chief of askmen.com, Basel is 28 years old. He said there has been a steady appetite for information about finding and dating older women. Sexual experience is part of the allure, but the independence factor is also critical, Basel said. Older women have more of a male view (of relationships). They don't romanticize relationships anymore. They know the reality of relationships. She recognizes they are ephemeral . . . And she doesn't need her man to define her, just please her in bed.

Social taboos Susan Winter, New York author of Older Women, Younger Men, finds the taboos against these May-December relationships rapidly disappearing.

But Gibson and Swartz said they remain, especially in Canada and some small areas of the United States like the Midwest and the South. There's a kernel of resentment/condemnation even now, Gibson said. Older women having sex with younger men, it just didn't go down. An older woman shouldn't be sexual. She should be wrapped in a shawl and be knitting booties for the grandkids. Even though baby boomers as a generation have debunked many social mores, eliminating the raised eyebrow when an older woman pairs with a younger man will take lots of time, Gibson said. Even baby boomers are not going to overcome that overnight. The double standard still exists. It may not be as harsh or as condemning, but it remains, Gibson said.What's the future for these relationships? Some are very long and end up in marraige till one of them dies, then some of them are just a short duration but fun while it lasted.

Schwartz said. Sex might be the initial spark that brings two people together, but it can't go the distance, no matter how old you are or even if you dated some your own age it slows down after awhile of being together. There has to be something else. What usually breaks up the couple is the man's desire to move on with his career or to start a family, and the sad part is the older women gets hurt and feels left again for a younger women. Even tho in the beginning this was the farthest thing from his mind, he just wanted you with him to make him happen. An older woman might have already raised hers and isn't game to try again.

Taniguchi, a Chandler resident who supervises Frederick's of Hollywood's call center, said it was the baby issue that ended his relationship of 5-years with a woman 12 years his senior.She had raised two children and wouldn't consider having more. It's one of the reasons he moved on he suddenly wanted a child as he was nearing 40. And she couldn't have anymore, which tore their relationship apart because she couldn't give him a child, Tanigchi said he feels sad that they broke it off he will miss her badly, and wishes their would of been some way they could of worked it out for both of them to be happy, but it was over so I moved on. Sad part is it was the worse mistake I ever made, because I still haven't found someone I feel close to like I did her.

Winter, 51, says her former boyfriend's mother sabotaged their relationship, because she felt I was to old for him to want to marry, so she did everything she could to set him up with younger women while we were dating..

But final note to this story alot of May-December couples do click and take a trip down the aisle and stay together till one of the dies, and didn't care what family or friends thought, because they were happy together."